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August 14 ResultsWOOT got into Manchester Uni :D
Results were quite good too. I'm happy with them overall.
Tired rite now from walkin around town all day with friends
Now i can live at home an go to Uni which is much more convienent than living away.
Once again WOOT lol Back From ScotlandYo, just back from Sccotland yesterday afternoon, covered in few scratches along my arm from a couple of mischievous cousins
Any way off to get results now after waking up with a slow start
Hopefully there good results :P July 14 Explorer and the BearAn explorer went wandering one day, one mile south, then one mile east, then one mile north, and he was back where he started - what colour was the bear which was eating his sandwiches?
Password SelectionA woman is helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and tells him that he will now need to choose and enter a password that he wants to use when logging on.
The husband, thinking he'll be oh-so-manly, types in the following letters when prompted for his desired password by the computer... m - y - p - e - n - i - s
His wife rolls her eyes.
Then she nearly falls off her chair howling with laughter when the computer replies: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH July 04 Teacher's Assignment: Story MoralsThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess. "What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched." "That was a fine story, Sarah."
"Michael, do you have ! a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your Daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking" Jesus is Watching youA burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot... "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would name a 140 pound Rottweiler Jesus." Bobs Fishing TripBob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding... Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?" Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?" "67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop. "But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?" Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!" The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?" "I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob. "What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman. "I'm a rectum stretcher!" The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What the HELL does a rectum stretcher do?" Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across." The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?" Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!" Game PuzzleSo ive got my m3 now and 1 of the games ive been playin is a puzzle game. I get up to a particular puzzle and spend a half hour trying to do it. Now cause i did a level maths, i wayyyy over complicated it. In the end i got it, it was incredibly simple lol.
So heres the puzzle. Hopefully you will solve it faster than my pathetic time
  June 19 College OverWoot finished college today :D
Last exam was chemistry which didnt go that bad, Now all i got to do is fill in this dam mantinence grant form.... lol
Oh yeh and clean my room which was already small to begin with, has been covered in stacks of papers, books random revision cards and folders
Too much effort just rite now, im tired lol ill start tidyin a bit later
Need to find somat to do for holidays, mite just play games lol, brothers been naggin me to play monopoly ( he sucks, its long and boring with only 2 people)
Ordered my M3, but most people wont know what that is... lol ( its for the Nintendo DS ) Dolphin TestRight, this is a bit of an unusual one, but its also a classic one. Below is a link to an image, depending on how dirty minded you are, you will see either dolphins or..... lol
For the record unlike some dirty minded people out there i saw the dolphins first :P
Theres 9 dolphins total ( i think correct me if im wrong )
Oh yeh in theory a little kid, would only see the dolphins because there not corrupted
May 25 Biker and GodA biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time, finally he said 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.' The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?.' Forgive me if you found the joke sexist but i liked it :P lol May 21 Chemistry PhotosUploaded the chemistry pictures from todays lesson into a zip file The download link is below.
Any problems, leave a comment, catch me on msn or just ask me next time you see me
 Honorary Mascots:
P.S. Relax the real photos are in the zip too, there are just bonuses lol RiddleIt kills the weak, it dominates the needy, but the owner of it, it rules more? QuestionWhen is a day longer than a year? What Am I?My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick Fat, I am slow Wind is my foe. What am I? February 15 Yo, an interesting puzzleGreater than God,
The answer will be in the comments Intrestingly enough this puzzle has been tested around the public , with little kids getting it correct way more than any one else. June 24 Puzzle: Bob Goes to EuropeBob was touring Europe in his car and arrived in the city of Zurich, Switzerland. Upon locating a parking space next to a lake he placed enough money in the parking meter for one hour.
Two hours later he returned to his car to find a parking ticket on his windscreen. After a little thought he came up with an idea, and in thirty minutes he was able to drive out of the city without any need of paying his fine. How did he perform this scam? ( Answer in comments, write in what you thought it was ) December 30 Chemistry Papers (AQA)Chemistry Papers and mark schemes Papers 6Mb: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/10/31/337006/Examination%20papers.zip Mark Schemes 49Mb: http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/10/31/337006/Mark%20Schemes.zip |
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